I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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