Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
