I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
