He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
