You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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