why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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