You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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