I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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