guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize