Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Come share oat with me in your robe
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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