Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
