Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize