i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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