Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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