My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
