i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
