Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
