OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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