I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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