Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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