She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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