he puts the penis in happiness.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
