I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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