let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
