Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
