doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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