Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
