Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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