2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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