ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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