i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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