a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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