Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
