nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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