fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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