READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
