if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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