her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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