They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize