he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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