I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
