I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
