Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
