i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
