normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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