this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
