somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
