Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
