who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
