yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize