Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
