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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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