who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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