you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
