she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
