Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
