At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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