i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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