and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
