I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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