He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
