You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
