Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
