i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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