The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
